Every Premier League club’s top reason for wanting Man City to be punished for rule-breaking

Manchester City could be in big trouble.

The Premier League announced this week that the reigning champions had breached over 100 regulations over the last decade or so. I’m not a mathematician but that seems like a lot.

Man City could face punishments ranging from fines and points deductions to expulsion and the stripping of previous titles. Oof. Big oof.

Pep Guardiola has since claimed that the Premier League’s decision was one driven by the top flight’s other sides. But what could they possibly have against Man City? Let’s run through every club’s main motive.

Reason for wanting Man City to fail: There’s a Premier League title to be won, duh

Arsenal are most likely going to win the league, but their lives would be made a lot easier if Man City were to receive an immediate points deduction.

Reason for wanting Man City to fail: Revenge for 2010

At the end of the 2009/10 season, Man City were defeated by Tottenham in what was essentially a play-off for fourth place.

But days prior to this meeting, Aston Villa lost at the Etihad Stadium to rule them out of Champions League contention. They have failed to hit the same heights since in what was a real sliding-doors game.

Reason for wanting Man City to fail: Only one club can run the ‘we have lower league heritage’ gimmick

Bournemouth fans chant ‘we support our local team’ at every away day. Congrats to the 217 people who hail from Dorset.

Reason for wanting Man City to fail: There’d be a chance to pinch a Scandinavian star

Brentford bloody love a good Scandinavian player. Erling Haaland to the Bees to play second fiddle to Ivan Toney, who says no?

Reason for wanting Man City to fail: Custody of Fatboy Slim

Man City have famously used Brighton fan Fatboy Slim’s ‘Right Here, Right Now’ at the Etihad for ages. That’s just not on, is it?

Reason for wanting Man City to fail: Take attention away from Todd Boehly

Chelsea have spent roughly £64bn on transfers since Boehly took charge of the club. Guardiola sent an ominous warning about other clubs’ spending and was surely side-eyeing the Blues.

Reason for wanting Man City to fail: For butchering ‘Glad All Over’

The Dave Clark Five’s ‘Glad All Over’ is the Crystal Palace anthem. Then Man City came along and reworked it as a chant for Guardiola. Not cool.

Reason for wanting Man City to fail: To be more relevant to Liverpool

Merseyside derbies will always be the biggest games of Everton’s season. They can’t afford to continue falling down that pecking order of hatred since Man City’s emergence.

Reason for wanting Man City to fail: To take the attention away from Todd Boehly

Fulham, fresh from obliterating everybody in the Championship, are cruising along in seventh yet everybody is talking about Todd. That’s not on.

Reason for wanting Man City to fail: To bring Erling Haaland home

There really would be convoluted sweepstakes for Haaland. Brentford could offer him home comforts (probably, there’s a Scandi Kitchen in London), but he is also literally a fan of Leeds United.

Reason for wanting Man City to fail: Jamie Vardy could do another funny celebration

Let’s set the scene. The Premier League announce Man City have been relegated and forced to hand back their titles. Leicester have one last trip to the Etihad Stadium before the end of the season. Jamie Vardy scores a last minute winner. He celebrates by doing a crying gesture in front of Guardiola. He puts on some shorts with pockets and out-turns them to reveal they’re empty, but takes off his shirt to reveal his legitimate Premier League winner’s medal. He receives a red card.

Beautiful.

Reason for wanting Man City to fail: Some retrospective titles wouldn’t go amiss

Should Man City face a serious punishment and have to forfeit some of their previous titles, Liverpool would add a further two league championships to their collection.

An extra edge to a modern rivalry.

Reason for wanting Man City to fail: It’s typical City, they always do things the hard way

Guardiola said that if Man City were relegated then he would bring back Paul Dickov and Mike Summerbee. On some perverted level, he wants this to happen. Real ‘asking my landlord to raise the rent because I believe in my grind’ vibes.

Reason for wanting Man City to fail: Funny

Yep, funny.

Reason for wanting Man City to fail: Easier route to the top

Newcastle are going to start collecting trophies sooner or later. Their life would be a little easier if Man City weren’t in the picture.

Reason for wanting Man City to fail: Stadium naming rights

Does it make sense that a team playing at the ‘City Ground’ does not have ‘City’ in their name? Not really. Man City leaving the Premier League would divert a bit of attention aay from this nonsense.

Reason for wanting Man City to fail: There are some more young players to be nabbed

Southampton have grown a liking for Man City’s underutilised young players. Now that Nathan Jones has been sacked, the Saints can stop trusting in God to deliver good results and start believing in youth again.

Reason for wanting Man City to fail: For that sweet, sweet retroactive 2021 Carabao Cup

Even before Guardiola made it personal with Daniel Levy, Spurs had a good reason to root for Man City’s downfall.

If they were forced to hand back some of their trophies, Tottenham would be awarded a Carabao Cup. That might satisfy Harry Kane’s trophy lust and end one of football’s longest-running jokes.

In fact, Guardiola’s attack on Levy now makes a bit of sense.

Reason for wanting Man City to fail: The looming threat that they could simply buy Tom Skinner

After taking Jack Grealish from Aston Villa and trying to pry Kane from Spurs, Man City have a bit of a reputation for taking homegrown heroes.

They can’t be allowed to get their hands on an east London icon.

Reason for wanting Man City to fail: Portugal internationals could hit the market

Bernardo Silva, Ruben Dias, Joao Cancelo – coming soon to a Molineux near you.

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